Jesters Ultimate

Jesters @ Lincoln Spirit Derby

This little adventure started off in a little meeting we were having when I asked if anyone thinks entering this tournament would get any interest to George just saying we wouldn’t. After a quick mention we had more than enough to enter so we did. End of.
Me
Rondo
Essex
Medic
Wong
JJ
Radonut


Friday Friday started off with Wong, Donut and I getting the train to Lincoln Friday night. We only had one car driving and all the spaces had gone so we had to deal with the train. On the train Donut was talking about how dark it was and that we had actually gone into a black hole. Wong mentioned some team he played for the week before called BFG (Big Frisbee Guys) apparently but BFG could stand for anything really! So we got to Lincoln with my extensive directions to the pub we were meeting at (just arrows on a piece of paper) and we were taken back by the pure awesomeness of Lincoln. For some reason I thought there was just nothing in Lincoln, but there’s a huge cathedral and a nice little quayside with all the bars and restaurants along. Trust me it was really cool, I didn’t do it too much justice in that sentence but yea, it surprised me. We found the pub and the hostess with the mostess toastest (she cooked us some toast in the morning) and she took us back to hers to drop off our bags and then we headed back to the pub. I said to the others that we would probably have a drink or 2 in the pub so we could have a comfortable night sleep on the floor. At 3 am we finally left to go home after playing drinking games with Flying Aces, tasting what beer with a lot of salt in is like (actually just like sea water), a lot of grinding on a Wonga, telling everyone that Wong is in fact a really good break dancer and encouraging him to spin on his head (didn’t happen *shakes head in disappointment*) and Donut disappearing to the toilet for about 2 hours. Turns out Donut was having an argument with the toilet attendant about the size of his penis and how long he can last in bed. Apparently just 5 seconds according to the toilet attendant. Apparently Donut called him a motherf*%&£r a lot of times and rumour has it he was racist (I started this rumour). So we got back to the hostess’ place and laid down to Donut just spraffing balls about this toilet attendant for about an hour and then he decided to get up and put a tv licence notice into the oven....why not...

Saturday So we started Saturday with Donut still shouting about some toilet attendant...actually spoke about him at any given opportunity so next time you see Donut don’t mention the toilet attendant. If you do he was in the toilet for at least 3 hours. The hostess did us some toast with jam and stuff. I thought I would hold my pre-match dump until we got to the sports hall. Turns out when I stood up I couldn’t and had to run to the toilet scared for my life! I saw an air freshener in their before I went though so it was ok....until I went to use said freshener to find it was out of juice as George found out later in the day. We got a phone call from a medic so I thought I would tell them all about Donuts harrowing experience telling them how he was in the toilet for at least 4 hours as he was. We all met at the sports hall on a wonderful day, perfect for outdoor Frisbee, but we were indoors so it doesn’t matter. We all had a laugh at Radoni and then headed down to our first game against flight club.
Game 1 6-6 Gah we should have won this game convincingly. We got through their zone until the last part seemingly every time, quite annoying. We were just a bit rusty I recon from no play for a couple of weeks. We relaxed too much in the lead as well as we had a 2 point lead. 2 points later and one on the buzzer resulted in us drawing..... N.B. – The calls in themselves were quite a highlight. Rob decided to improvise all the calls So the first call of the weekend was Jedi Bids. It required two people to be blindfolded (JJ for us) and then the disc was thrown in the air and the person who caught it won....took quite a while.
Game 2 Vs Hull2 12-4 Well this game was pretty comfortable with nice cuts, good puts, and great quick play with some fairly solid D. For the life of me though I can’t remember the bloody call we did.
Game 3 vs. Disciple 6-6 This result really annoyed me. To be brutally honest we should have never drawn against these guys, they were rubbish! We got the lead and couldn’t hold onto it and they scored on the buzzer again....BLEAK But Oh well it was all about spirit and this is when wet numbers was born.....Rob before explaining the aim of the game walked up to someone and shouted “GUESS HIS NUMBER”, pointing to a Jester. The response was “what?” in a voice that sounded like he was about to get mugged. Rob repeated, if anything even louder! Finally after a few seconds he realised he had to guess the players shirt number. He got it wrong and the wet part of the game came in as Rob soaked him. Lols. Great call though!
Game 4 vs. Tenuous 14-2 This was our hostess’ team so we felt a bit bad about the score line. We needed to get a big point difference in case that is what it came down to reach the final stages due to our draws. So we did with some slick play happening all over the place. CALL :- Spanner, spanner, spanner! This involved blindfolds and 4 players from each team and a disc. They were all spaced out from each other. Aim of the call: pass a disc from one player to another and then once that is done the last player crosses a finish line. Due to everyone being blindfolded the participants were able to communicate but by only saying spanner, in a marco polo game fashion (the one in the swimming pool). We didn’t do too well here because George didn’t seem to understand he was supposed to shout spanner so I could tell where to go..../facepalm. But later on in the day we saw Tenuous playing it during a call. So I knew our next game was a tough one but I didn’t realise how close it was. We were pretty much straight on as we didn’t get a chance for a quick talk. We had to beat the 2nd seeded team in our pool Suit Up.
Game 5 vs. Suit Up 6-5 We played pretty well in this game. Considering we had come straight from spanner spanner spanner we rocked. We were all over them at the start, we had seen these guys playing at the start and they looked really good. But we had some quick points. Our D was working as hard as ever as you looked around and saw the hunger in all the Jesters eyes for the win. Going into the last minute we were 6-5 up and we really did not want another draw. So instead of going for the point we decided to throw around a bit. Our fitness shone through, we had run them ragged making them work for everything on O and making them work incredibly hard on D as we used quick turns incredibly effectively. It was a close score but the right score from how the game went. So the call here was Signoritas! The drinking game where everyone has a sign and everyone has to do that sign.
So we won the last game and went Saturday undefeated! We hit the showers and found a sauna. Rob, a man of the world, knew the proper technique for the sauna with cold showers and everything. We then got back to the hostess’ place, figured out a game plan- get some booze, park JJ’s car and get some food. We got to the food part (Scream Pub) and found that medic and Wong had already ordered. But it was going to be a 45 min wait for the rest of us....we had a tight schedule! So we had to leave the lovers to a quiet meal for 2 in the incredibly busy Pub and we hit Nando’s just a couple of restaurants down. It went down a treat.
Then it was back to get suited up and ready for the evenings proceedings. The party theme was disguises since Lincoln are actually called Discguize! So we went in black suits and black ties with sunglasses. JJ went as a school kid and Wong as a geography teacher, just look at the pictures and you’ll see what I mean. We played some drinking games, played a game of 5’s for a dirty drink. I lost.....went to drink it and found that there was actually a skin on the top of it. Luckily everyone had everyone’s back and everyone loved everyone (ELE) so it was shared around. After another nicer dirty saucepan we headed out to the engine shed (party place). We got there after a lot of radio communication to each other as we realised we looked like doormen before we left. We escorted everyone to the venue safely, but very late apparently. The security at the venue loved us as we took our various posts around the party.
Throughout the night and after more drinks the security from the jesters was not quite as strong as we tried to break dance. Wong still didn’t get involved, even though he is the best one out of us. Someone asked one of the Jesters whether we were a professional dance act, we’re cool so can’t blame them thinking that. Essex had a little sleep in the club. JJ was hungry for the majority of the night wanting food pretty much when we got in. So he resorted to slow dancing with Donut all night. After some more security we went outside and got a hot dog. The woman on the hotdog stand hurled a bit of abuse at us since we left at like 1.30....but our job was done as doormen....and I had already spent £60....ouch. So we went on to Macdonald’s. On the way we found some people in some library working so we stood on the other side looking at theme in a security style, and someone started to drop their trousers. Donut helped had everyone’s back when going near the water as they held onto a rope that was attached to a stump, Donut held the stump end just in case. We finally got to Macdonald’s. We were at the counter and Medic was outside the Fire exit. Donut had it covered, as he let him in and alarms went off, but don’t worry about it we were security. We sat down I was trying to eat my ice cream but someone kept tipping it over me as it got near my mouth. So I gave up and then someone put it above my head, I didn’t really fancy any ice cream on my so I hit it and it went all over the hostess....woops. She wasn’t impressed. Nearly as Unimpressed as Rob was when the Po Po 5 0 came into Macdonald’s. Mr serious had a rant about them being fascist and then we went back to the hostess’ place. Back at the hostess’ place George worked well in a drunken state and put the majority of his suit back on its hanger. Apparently Essex had put his Bhaji’s in the oven. The hostess said he looked like Boris Johnson! So after some random laughing at something which I can’t remember, Donut was smashing JJ with the saucepan (Donut always says he was doing it softly though). We started shouting at Rob, ‘Boris get your Bhaji’s out the Oven!’ He woke up as Mr. Serious again and shouted back “Don’t you want to go to Bhaji town in the morning!” Got them out the oven and put them in the fridge. Donut was in a mood himself because the water was rubbish in Lincoln. So he threw the washing up bowl across the room and put the TV licence in the oven again. Everyone then seemed to fall asleep/pass out as medic slept on a towel again on some really hard floor...again.

Sunday So I woke up and my back and neck were destroyed. I slept on a couple of chairs in a bad bad way. I broke my sleeping bag and I was wearing my shirt as a cape! After normal Frisbee Sunday morning stuff, talking about antics from the Saturday night the hostess came in and offered everyone some toast. Then asked if anyone had seen her washing up bowl....we all looked at Donut who looked very awkward. JJ realised he had slept in someone else’s sleeping bag and went into the realms of bat sonar frequency as he squealed about his sleeping bag. We got to the sports hall getting ready for what turned out to be a must win game to get through to the last 4. There were no quarter finals here – Just straight to the semis. So looking around the place there seemed to be some sorry sorry Jesters as we had to beat the top seeds, Danger.
Game 6 vs. Danger 4-6 Gutting, the game was soo close. We ran them so hard and no one would have guessed that anyone had gone out the night before. With some heroics being put on display as Rob skied someone straightaway for the first point. They threw a zone to try and slow us down. We broke it down quickly until the wall when we tried to be patient. I attempted the biggest jump in ever and they called it...but secretly knew it was good. But they got a couple of D’s and a couple of quick points annoyingly. We were so close to breaking them down. If we had just broken them down and scored a point that would have been us level...then I reckon we could have done it, but they used their experience and held onto it for hours.......boring but never mind. We gave a good representation of ourselves. Now the highest we could finish was 5th. We had a game next against a team called Heritage. These guys were all relatives of Discguize players, with lots of old guys being parents.
Game 7 vs. Heritage 9-5 Considering these guys were all beginners they weren’t bad. We were playing like idiots as well though with everything going wrong, completely wrong with no concentration at all. Donut was shouting about before the game how we shouldn’t be dicks or anything. So guess what his first throw was? Yea that’s right, an around the back backhand. Guess what his next throw was? Yea right again, a push pass assist! Anyway these guys showed how an organised defence can mess anyone up, as they were frankly quite organised. CALL....This is when we played BHAJI town. As Rob told us the story of how in India when drunken Frisbee players get in from a night out, they come home and play bhaji town! The aim of the game was to pass the Frisbee over your head to the end of the line with a bhaji on and the person at the end had to eat it. This resulted in people trying to spin the disc to Medic with the bhaji on it. Needless to say this didn’t work. So we were stuck in the group of 5-8. We had a game against Pies (Newcastle University). We wanted to prove that we didn’t belong outside the top 4.
Game 8 vs. Pies 12-5 5th place was looking promising after this win. We had some solid cuts and were catching pretty much everything with ease. We made them panic a bit with our pressure, which resulted in turns. With a nice fast paced O we were able to get quite a few points. After the game we finally were able to play knees when we found some grass! So we were at least going to finish 6th as our last game was 5v6. Turns out it was Flying Aces we were about to play. Wong, Donut and I ended up playing drinking games with these guys on the Friday night so it was quite good to get to play them! These guys also misheard Donut’s name as Clyde! Ollie...Clyde...Easy mistake.
Final game vs. Flying Aces 16-3 or something
This was a strong finish. We were all really relaxed and decided that we were actually going to catch everything with Donut catching knives without even looking, he just stuck a hand out and it stuck! Wong had some good feet in the end zone and I might have had layout grab for a Scoober, but I don’t like to talk about that. With some great D as well, the whole team was hungry for a massive victory and it was a comprehensive victory indeed. We played wet numbers again during the call after having an eating competition with the rest of the food. Hudson went for the ‘put it all in at once’ approach....poor tactics. Everyone got a hug apart from Medic and I as well. Jesters came 5th then at Lincoln Spirit Derby, or LSD! With a strong finish and a weekend with just one loss, it must be said it was a fair effort. It is perhaps a tournament that we could have won but ‘shouldah, wouldah, couldah’s’ don’t change tournament placing’s. If they did we would be Uni champions! So with an amazing weekend of ultimate and a great weekend of team bonding....too much laughter and a lot of security work the J-Tour is returning home for one massive juddle at Jestival! But as the boat sets sail onto next year we see that some Jesters have to leave the J Barge. As a Wongalong, a Radonut and a G-Mac started the weekend together, we finished our time as Jesters (at indoor tournaments anyway). This also means that I have finished my final duty as Indoor captain, the report. No matter how strong a hero is, how long he lives and what he does; a hero will always experience his tragic ending. Here is mine as my 3 years as a Jester is coming to an end. Being a Jester has made me experience the extremes in emotions as I have been happier than I thought was humanely possible and reached lows which I didn’t think we could crawl out of. But Jesters always did, without having to crawl. There’s always that cliché when sports stars leave a club or retire (not that I’m likening myself to a sports star) that ‘I have no regrets’. I just have one solitary regret...that I cannot keep playing as a Jester for the rest of my days!
Jesters 4 Life x